I don't wanna go to heaven if I can't get in

[primeideal]

Since it's election time I've been doing some phone banking for "curing" ballots, which means if someone has already voted by mail but there was an issue processing the signature and the local government hasn't confirmed them, we call them and say "hey, there was an issue, this is how you can fix it." Of course >90% of the time we do not get a live human when we dial, so there's different administrative issues for "do we leave a message or just hang up and try again later," "what if they have more than one phone number," "what if they say they already went through the curing process but the county still shows them as not yet cured..." and various issues with the staff communicating that to us, but oh well, that's not the point.

The point is, when >90% of the time we are clicking a button to say "we didn't talk to a live person on this autodial," the webform automatically has a list of circle buttons to select:

• Not Home
• Refused
• Deceased
• Moved
• Busy
• Left Message
• Wrong Number
• Disconnected
• Other Language

Well, one of the numbers I was dialing today belonged to someone whose first name was "Heaven." And so the button for voicemail was just "I Couldn't Reach Heaven." :( (Although I feel like "Deceased" would actually be a useful ticky box in that case...)