primeideal

Last weekend, extended family event, my mood on which can kind of be summed up by the Yogiism "You have to go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."
This weekend, smaller family gathering, coinciding with a more festive event for me personally. Physical and mental health were not optimal. Kind of want a mulligan. But don't want to be one of the people who makes everything about themselves.
In the three years since this post, pathological oversharer colleague left our employer, then came back. Fortunately, this is not someone I work closely with (or I'd have lost my mind), but we have a lot of mutual acquaintances in common among mathy people who started around the same time. Now, an important caveat here is that we are US federal employees. More insulated from the nonsense than ~95% of feds, but still. Under the *gestures vaguely* circumstances, I cannot blame any government people for potentially thinking about leaving their job or at least making some medium-term changes. But this person is determined to pick the stupidest hills to die on and lament to everyone. Which means, once again, I'm self-selecting out of the places/chats where they'll be and leaving it to the lowest common denominator. At work, this is not so bad, because again, these are not the actual teammates I need to work with. It's just...becoming a pattern with me, and it's more annoying when it happens around people I actually like.
I would love a Google ngrams-type graph for "give [someone] grace" and its variants, and since I'm dreaming, filter out godly versus human references. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with having high standards. However, if your standards are impossibly high and people keep failing to meet them, and your reaction is "oh well you suck but I'll put up with you anyway," I think it makes a pretty important difference whether you're Literally God or just a human. If you're just a human, and this keeps happening, maybe it's your standards that are the problem. And both the people who try and fail to achieve the standards, and the people who are like "these are stupid, I'm just going to avoid you," are potentially going to make themselves miserable until things change.